IMPOSTER SYNDROME
Updated October 4, 2020
im·post·er syn·drome | noun | “imposter syndrome can be defined as a collection of feelings of inadequacy that persist despite evident success. ‘Imposters’ suffer from chronic self-doubt and a sense of intellectual fraudulence that override any feelings of success or external proof of their competence.”
At the end of a medical school interview, the interviewer typically asks you if you have any questions for them. As a Latina, I almost always used this opportunity to ask faculty members something along the lines of “How do you feel your school supports underrepresented (URM) students and faculty?” The answers were usually the same - something about the school’s diversity and recruitment efforts, the commitment to fostering an inclusive and welcoming environment, etc. Most of the responses I got blurred together. Except one. At one interview, the faculty member responded to my question with another question: “Do you consider yourself URM?”
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I was slightly taken aback and confused by this question. The interviewer and I had spent a good amount of time during the interview talking about my family in Puerto Rico and my involvements in the Latinx community. I figured maybe he wasn’t sure of what URM meant (as it is a term that is not always completely defined), so I carefully stated that I am Latina/Puerto Rican and because of that I am considered underrepresented in medicine. His response echoes in my mind to this day.
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“Oh. I wouldn’t have guessed based on your application. It’s very impressive.”
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If you’re infuriated reading this comment, you’re not alone. I left that interview in disbelief. Should my application not have been impressive? Did that interviewer expect applications of URM students to be less competitive? Did he think that my application was impressive or was it impressive for a Latina?
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Those questions rattled around in my head for weeks, and eventually my anger turned into self-doubt. It certainly wouldn’t have been the first time someone second-guessed me based on my ethnicity. Entering college, a lot of people made assumptions that I received my acceptances and scholarships solely based on my minority status. The interviewer’s words ate at wounds that had never fully healed. Suddenly I started doubting some of my medical school acceptances. Was I accepted because I was truly competitive? Or was I competitive for a _____? Was I fulfilling some sort of unseen quota? Did I really deserve to be accepted?
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The thing about imposter syndrome is that it can appear at any time and causes you to question whether you deserve to be where you are.
As someone now on the other side of the application cycle, I can say that getting into medical school is no easy feat. It takes grueling work, time, and dedication. So in the seemingly never ending grind, how do you defeat those self-deprecating thoughts?
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Whenever I start to doubt my achievements, I try to remind myself to own my successes and accomplishments. Though a lot of hard work can go unnoticed, it can also result in tangible outcomes. Did you get a good grade on a chemistry exam? Were you able to present a poster about your research? Did someone else notice or comment on your work? Did you get accepted to that internship you wanted? Make note of your accomplishments (any accomplishments - even if you think they’re “small”) and know that you made them happen. Don’t brush things off as luck or a fluke. Be confident and unafraid to say that you’re proud of yourself for getting to where you are.
Stop viewing life as a competition.
This can be incredibly hard in the pre-med world as we’re essentially programmed to see everything as a competition. Yet, constantly comparing ourselves to others may lead to unrealistic expectations for what success means. Everyone’s journey is different, and nobody is perfect. You can’t always be or do “better” than the other person. Instead, you should look at your success in terms of your personal journey. Set expectations based on your own abilities and goals - not what others have seemingly achieved (because let’s be real, people aren’t posting their failures on social media anyway).
Find Your Support System.
Imposter syndrome can send us into a downward spiral of negative thoughts. Having friends and colleagues you can talk to when those negative thoughts appear can be really beneficial in combating those thoughts. Those friends don’t necessarily have to be pre-med either. In undergrad, I found my community in Multicultural Greek life. My siblings were from all sorts of educational backgrounds, and many of them felt the impacts of imposter syndrome as well. When you open up about your feelings, you might find that others are experiencing similar thoughts. Open and honest communication can help you work through those feelings together.
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Imposter syndrome is something that many of us will encounter throughout our careers. Being aware of how it can impact us and having strategies to combat it when it arises are just a couple steps we can take to ensure that imposter syndrome doesn’t overpower us.
Frances Avila-Soto
Hometown: Zanesville, OH
Medical School: Washington University School of Medicine
Year: M1